Making child arrangements if you divorce or separate

Printable version

1. Making child arrangements

You can choose how to make arrangements for looking after your children if you separate from your partner.

What you can do is different in and .

You and your ex-partner may be able to avoid going to court if you agree on:

  • where the children will live
  • how much time they바카라 사이트™ll spend with each parent
  • how you바카라 사이트™ll financially support your children

This is called making child arrangements (sometimes known as 바카라 사이트˜child custody바카라 사이트™ or 바카라 사이트˜child contact바카라 사이트™).

You can agree on child maintenance at the same time or separately.

If you agree

If you and your ex-partner agree on child arrangements, you can make a Parenting Plan. This is a record of what you바카라 사이트™ve agreed.

Get help agreeing without going to court

You can find out about:

You can also get help and information from:

If you cannot agree on everything

You can apply for a court order if you cannot agree after using a mediator or getting help.

If you decide to go to court, you바카라 사이트™ll usually need to show you바카라 사이트™ve tried mediation before you apply. You can get a voucher worth up to £500 to pay for family mediation, regardless of what you earn.

It costs £263 to apply for a court order. You may be able to get help paying court fees if you바카라 사이트™re on benefits or a low income.

You may be able to get legal aid to help pay for a legal adviser in court. For example, if you have evidence that you바카라 사이트™re a victim of domestic abuse.

2. If you agree on child arrangements

You do not have to do any official paperwork if you agree about child arrangements.

You can write down what you바카라 사이트™ve agreed in a if you want a record.

If you want to make your agreement legally binding, a legal advisor can help with the paperwork.

Making your agreement legally binding

You can get a legal advisor to draft a 바카라 사이트˜consent order바카라 사이트™ if you want a legally binding agreement.

A consent order is a legal document that confirms your agreement. It can include details about how you바카라 사이트™ll look after your children, such as:

  • where they live
  • when they spend time with each parent
  • when and what other types of contact take place (phone calls, for example)

You and your ex-partner both have to sign the draft consent order. You바카라 사이트™ll also need to get the consent order approved.

You or your ex-partner need to apply for a court order to get your consent order approved. Your legal advisor can help you with your application.

You will not need to show that you바카라 사이트™ve tried mediation.

Keep a copy of both the form and the draft consent order.

After the court gets your paperwork

There바카라 사이트™s usually no court hearing. A judge will approve your consent order to make it legally binding if they think you바카라 사이트™ve made decisions in your children바카라 사이트™s interest.

If the judge does not think your consent order is in your children바카라 사이트™s interest they can:

  • change your consent order
  • make a different court order to decide what바카라 사이트™s best for your children

3. Make an agreement through mediation

You can use a mediator to help you and your ex-partner agree on child arrangements. This can often mean you do not have to go to court.

A mediator is a professional who will work with you to help you make decisions based on your child바카라 사이트™s best interests. They listen to both sides and take a neutral approach.

If it바카라 사이트™s suitable, a mediator can talk to your child about what they want. This is called 바카라 사이트˜child-inclusive mediation바카라 사이트™.

You can attend sessions in person or remotely (for example by video or phone). You do not have to be in the same room or call as your ex-partner.

Mediation is not relationship counselling.

You need to use an accredited mediator. .

What mediation can help with

Mediation can help you and your ex-partner agree on the details of how you바카라 사이트™ll look after your child, such as:

  • where they live
  • when they spend time with each parent
  • when and what other types of contact take place (for example, phone calls) 
  • how to cover your child바카라 사이트™s living costs (for example, housing and day to day care)

Before you start mediation

You may need to go to an initial meeting with the mediator. This is sometimes called a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM).

At this meeting, the mediator will give you advice about the mediation process, discuss your situation and help you to decide if mediation is right for you. They may also explain other ways you can agree on child arrangements without going to court.

If you decide to go to court, you바카라 사이트™ll usually need to show you바카라 사이트™ve attended a MIAM before you apply. If you attend a MIAM but your ex-partner does not, you can still apply to go to court.

You will not have to go to a MIAM in some circumstances, for example if there바카라 사이트™s been domestic abuse.

You need to use an accredited mediator. .

After you go to a MIAM

The mediator will sign a form that shows you attended. You바카라 사이트™ll need to show this if you apply to go to court. Only a mediator accredited by the Family Mediation Council can sign the form.

How much a MIAM costs

The cost of a MIAM depends on the mediator you choose. The usual cost is around £120. You and your ex-partner will need to attend your own MIAM separately.

You do not have to pay for a MIAM if either you or your ex-partner qualifies for legal aid.

How much mediation costs

Mediation is usually cheaper and quicker than going to court.

The cost of a MIAM is separate from the cost of mediation.

You and your ex-partner will need to decide how the cost of mediation is shared.

Get up to £500 towards the cost of mediation

You can usually get a voucher worth up to £500 to pay for family mediation, regardless of what you earn. 

The voucher usually pays for a minimum of 2 mediation sessions, depending on where you live and the type of mediation. For example, mediation where each parent is in a different room could cost more.

The voucher cannot be used towards the cost of a MIAM. It can only be used towards the cost of mediation sessions.

You and your ex-partner can only use one voucher to jointly cover your mediation costs for up to £500 바카라 사이트“ you cannot apply for multiple vouchers.

Find out how the Family Mediation Voucher Scheme works.

How to get a mediation voucher

Ask an accredited mediator to apply for the voucher. You do not need to pay upfront for any sessions the voucher covers.

You may also be able to get legal aid to cover the cost of mediation if you바카라 사이트™re on a low income.

Legal aid will cover the costs of:

  • a MIAM
  • any mediation sessions needed after the MIAM
  • applying for a consent order (a document that makes your agreement legally binding)

Legal aid will cover the costs of: 

  • a MIAM

  • the first mediation session for both parents after the MIAM

It will also cover any further costs of the parent who바카라 사이트™s eligible for legal aid. It will not cover the other parent바카라 사이트™s costs.

Check if you can get legal aid.

What happens next

If you reach an agreement, you바카라 사이트™ll get a document at the end of mediation showing what you and the other person have agreed. You do not need to do anything else.

If you want to make your agreement legally binding, you should hire a solicitor. They바카라 사이트™ll draft a consent order. You can then apply to court to ask a judge or magistrate to review and confirm the order.

If the mediator thinks that mediation is not right for you, they might advise you to go to court instead.

Help and support

Find out about other ways to agree without going to court.

You can also:  

  • find out more about what family mediation involves on the
  • report domestic abuse or contact organisations who can offer you help and support

4. Other ways to agree without going to court

There are other ways to help you agree on child arrangements outside of court. These are sometimes known as 바카라 사이트˜non-court dispute resolution바카라 사이트™ (NCDR).

NCDR is usually quicker than going to court.

The type you choose will depend on your circumstances. For example your financial situation, where you live and whether you바카라 사이트™re in contact with your ex-partner.

You could try:

  • solicitor negotiation
  • collaborative law
  • arbitration
  • neutral evaluation
  • mediation

If you decide to go to court, you바카라 사이트™ll usually need to show you바카라 사이트™ve tried mediation before you apply. You can usually get a voucher to pay for family mediation, regardless of what you earn.

A legal adviser can help you decide what type of resolution is suitable for you. They can also tell you how much it costs.

If you바카라 사이트™re not in contact with your ex-partner

Solicitor negotiation

If you바카라 사이트™re unable to contact your ex-partner or they do not reply to you, you can find a legal adviser to help you negotiate. This is known as 바카라 사이트˜solicitor negotiation바카라 사이트™ or 바카라 사이트˜lawyer negotiation바카라 사이트™.

You do not have to speak to your ex-partner if you choose a solicitor to negotiate for you. 

If you바카라 사이트™re in contact with your ex-partner

You can still negotiate through a solicitor if you바카라 사이트™re in contact with your ex-partner but there are other options available to you.

Collaborative law

You and your ex-partner can each hire your own legal advisers to help you negotiate. You then all meet to try and agree on child arrangements. This is known as 바카라 사이트˜collaborative law바카라 사이트™.

Find a legal adviser.

Arbitration

Arbitration is when a legal professional (such as a judge, solicitor or barrister) listens to both of your views.

.

Neutral evaluation

Neutral evaluation can help you and your ex-partner understand how likely it is that you바카라 사이트™ll get the child arrangements you want in court. 

A legal professional (such as a family lawyer or judge) will listen to both of your views. They then give their unbiased opinion on what a court might decide. 

Both parents need to attend the neutral evaluation meeting.

It could help you come to an agreement without going to court which could save you time and money.

Neutral evaluation is different to mediation because a mediator cannot tell you what the outcome of your court order might be.

Find a legal adviser to arrange neutral evaluation.

What happens next

If you reach an agreement, you do not need to do anything else. You and your ex-partner can agree to follow what바카라 사이트™s been decided.

Ask your solicitor or find a legal adviser if you want to make your agreement legally binding. They바카라 사이트™ll draft a consent order. You can then apply to court to ask a judge or magistrate to review and confirm the order.

Get help or advice

You can ask a legal adviser about other types of resolution.

You can also:

5. If you cannot agree: court orders you can apply for

If you바카라 사이트™ve got help and still cannot agree then you바카라 사이트™ll need to apply for a court order before you go to court.

You must show you바카라 사이트™ve attended a meeting about mediation first - except in certain cases (there바카라 사이트™s been domestic abuse, for example).

You may have to attend a court appointment and go to a number of court hearings.

Before the court makes a decision, it might ask you try mediation again or go on a course to help you resolve issues.

Types of court order

The type of court order you need depends on what you바카라 사이트™ve been unable to agree on. You can apply for more than one court order.

Arrangements for your child

A 바카라 사이트˜child arrangements order바카라 사이트™ decides:

  • where your child lives
  • when your child spends time with each parent
  • when and what other types of contact take place (phone calls, for example)

바카라 사이트˜Child arrangements orders바카라 사이트™ replace 바카라 사이트˜residence orders바카라 사이트™ and 바카라 사이트˜contact orders바카라 사이트™. Parents with these orders do not need to re-apply.

Find a legal advisor if you need legal advice.

Your child바카라 사이트™s upbringing

A 바카라 사이트˜specific issue order바카라 사이트™ is used to look at a specific question about how the child is being brought up, for example:

  • what school they go to
  • if they should have a religious education

You can also apply for a 바카라 사이트˜prohibited steps order바카라 사이트™ to stop the other parent from making a decision about the child바카라 사이트™s upbringing.

Who can apply

The child바카라 사이트™s mother, father or anyone with parental responsibility can apply for a court order.

Other people can apply for these court orders but they바카라 사이트™ll need to get permission from the courts first. Find out how to make child arrangements if you바카라 사이트™re the child바카라 사이트™s grandparent.

6. Apply for a court order

You must usually attend a meeting about mediation before you apply. This is called a mediation information and assessment meeting (MIAM).

You do not need to attend a MIAM in certain cases, for example if there바카라 사이트™s been domestic abuse or if you바카라 사이트™re applying for a consent order.

How to apply

You can apply online or using a paper form for any of the following:

  • a child arrangements order
  • a prohibited steps order
  • a specific issue order
  • a consent order

There바카라 사이트™s a different process in and .

How much it costs

It costs £263 to apply for a court order. You may be able to get help paying court fees if you바카라 사이트™re on benefits or a low income.

Apply online

Once you바카라 사이트™ve started your application, you can save your form and complete it later. You바카라 사이트™ll have 28 days to complete the form after you바카라 사이트™ve saved it.

Apply using a paper form

Follow these steps to apply for a court order using a paper form.

  1. Read guidance CB001 on making an application.

  2. Fill in the C100 court form. You must show you바카라 사이트™ve attended a meeting about mediation first - except in certain cases (there바카라 사이트™s been domestic abuse, for example) or when applying for a consent order.

  3. Send your original form and 3 copies of it to the .

7. After you apply for a court order

The court will arrange a 바카라 사이트˜directions hearing바카라 사이트™ with both parents if you apply for a court order.

There will usually be a family court adviser from the at the hearing.

Cafcass will send you information before the hearing - they바카라 사이트™ll usually ring you too.

At the hearing, a judge or magistrate will try to work out:

  • what you can agree
  • what you cannot agree
  • if your child is at risk in any way

They바카라 사이트™ll encourage you to reach an agreement if it바카라 사이트™s in the child바카라 사이트™s best interests. If you can, and there are no concerns about the child바카라 사이트™s welfare, the judge or magistrate can end the process.

The court will make a consent order which sets out what you바카라 사이트™ve agreed, if necessary.

If you cannot agree at the first court hearing

The judge or magistrate will set a timetable for what happens next.

They may ask you to try again to reach an agreement, for example by going to a meeting with a mediator.

You may have to go on a course if your case is about child arrangements. The course is called a 바카라 사이트˜바카라 사이트™, and could help you find a way to make child arrangements work.

You usually have to go to one or 2 meetings, depending on the type of programme. Your ex-partner will not be at the same meetings as you.

If you reach an agreement at any stage, the judge or magistrate can stop the process.

Cafcass reports

The court can ask Cafcass to provide a report on your case to help decide what바카라 사이트™s best for the child.

The Cafcass officer may ask your child about their feelings. You바카라 사이트™ll get a copy of the report when it바카라 사이트™s written.

What judges and magistrates consider

They바카라 사이트™ll always put the welfare of children first. They will think about the:

  • child바카라 사이트™s wishes and feelings
  • child바카라 사이트™s physical, emotional and educational needs
  • effect any changes may have on the child
  • child바카라 사이트™s age, gender, characteristics and background
  • possible risk of harm to the child
  • ability of parents to meet the child바카라 사이트™s needs
  • orders the court has the power to make

A judge or magistrate will only make an order if they think it바카라 사이트™s in the child바카라 사이트™s best interests.

If you want to change your application

Use form C2 to change an application that the court is still considering.

The fee depends on what you바카라 사이트™re asking the court to do. You pay the court:

  • £190 if you still want the court to decide your case through a court hearing
  • £60 if you and your ex-partner have agreed and you want the court to approve your consent order without a court hearing

8. Change or enforce an order

You can change an existing court order or consent order. You can also ask a court to enforce an order if your ex-partner is not following it.

If you ask the court to change or enforce an order, you바카라 사이트™ll probably have to go to a court hearing. You can usually avoid this if you get support outside of court, such as using a mediator or getting other help instead.

Change an order

You can decide to do something different from the court order, if you both agree. But you will not be able to enforce this later on unless you make it legally binding.

Make a change legally binding

If you both agree, you can draft a consent order to cover the new agreement and ask the court to approve it.

If you cannot agree, you can ask a court to decide how to change (바카라 사이트˜vary바카라 사이트™) the order.

Enforce an order

If your ex-partner is not following the order, you can ask the court to enforce it. Follow these steps.

  1. Fill in form C79 to apply - read guidance CB5 if you need help.

  2. Use form C78 to attach a 바카라 사이트˜warning notice바카라 사이트™ if your order was made before 8 December 2008. Orders made after this date will already include one.

  3. Send it to the . It costs £255.

The court will look at the facts again to see if anything has changed.

If the court enforces the order

Depending on your situation and what you바카라 사이트™ve asked the court to decide they might make:

  • an 바카라 사이트˜enforcement order바카라 사이트™ - this means your ex-partner has to do between 40 and 200 hours of unpaid work
  • an 바카라 사이트˜order for compensation for financial loss바카라 사이트™ - this means your ex-partner has to pay back any money you바카라 사이트™ve lost because they did not follow the order (for example if you missed a holiday)

You can go back to the court if your ex-partner still does not do as the court ordered.

If the court does not enforce the order

The court might not enforce the existing order if they think that your ex-partner is not following it because:

  • they have a good reason
  • it바카라 사이트™s better for your children to do something different

You can go back to the court if you do not agree with their decision or your situation changes.

End an order

Use form C100 to apply to end (바카라 사이트˜discharge바카라 사이트™) a court order that바카라 사이트™s not working, or is not relevant to you and your children any more.

If your order ends at a fixed time (바카라 사이트˜time-limited바카라 사이트™), you can make your own agreement afterwards. You can get support to reach agreement, such as using a mediator or getting other help.