Wellington College Anzac Day 2019 assembly: Laura Clarke's speech
British High Commissioner to New Zealand Laura Clarke reflected on what it took to be a young man in World War 1, compared with being a young man today.
I te hekenga atu o te r膩
Tae noa ki te aranga mai i tea ta
Ka maumahara tonu t膩tou ki a r膩tou
膧piti hono, t膩tai hono
Te hunga mate ki a t膩tou te hunga ora
T膿na koutou, t膿na koutou katoa.
Thank you for inviting me here to address your annual assembly today to acknowledge the 222 Old Boys from Wellington College who died in the First World War.
Later this month, we will mark once again the anniversary of the day when soldiers from the Australia and New Zealand Army Corps, the ANZACs, first landed at Gallipoli, among them, soldiers from Wellington. In doing so we will remember the multiple sacrifices made, and those who did not return, from Anzac Cove and other battlefields, while serving their country.
On the other side of the world from New Zealand, students from another Wellington College, in Berkshire in the UK, also went to war. Wellington college has over 700 deaths on its First World War Roll of Honour, making it one of the schools in the UK with the greatest number of casualties.
It바카라 사이트檚 hard now, in today바카라 사이트檚 world, to imagine what it was like for those young men, from Wellington in the UK and Wellington in New Zealand, who joined up, and headed off to war. They would have been young men, students, like you. Leaving home, perhaps for the first time, and travelling halfway around the world to places they had never before seen 바카라 사이트� except perhaps on a map.
Those were different times. And I want to use my time with you today to reflect on how times have changed in the 100 years since World War 1. To talk about what it was to be a young man in 1915, headed to Gallipoli - about societal structures and expectations of men then, about gender roles.
And then I will travel forward in time 바카라 사이트� to reflect on how much has changed, and how different it is to be a young man now, versus a young man in World War 1.
World War 1
The world in 1914 was a very different one to the world of today. It was a time when people were much more accepting of hierarchy, of class structures, of gender roles, of 바카라 사이트榢nowing their place바카라 사이트�. It was a time when people sang that now unpopular verse from All Things Bright and Beautiful, without questioning the assumptions underpinning it: 바카라 사이트楾he rich man in his castle/the poor man at the gate/he made them high and lowly/according to their estate바카라 사이트�바카라 사이트�
It was a time when there was little tolerance for difference 바카라 사이트� in ethnicity and culture, in religion, in gender, in sexuality. And when there was little space for people to be weak or vulnerable.
Boarding schools, like both Wellington colleges, were tough and austere for a reason. They taught physical strength, discipline, obedience, hardship, emotional self-sufficiency, bravery, a stiff upper lip. They were preparing young men for war. Wellington college even handed out 바카라 사이트榞renade certificates바카라 사이트�.
And that was a necessity. Because in those days war was a fact of life, and young men had to be prepared for it. So when war was declared, young men signed up in their hundreds of thousands 바카라 사이트� without ever questioning it.
Recruitment posters at the time 바카라 사이트� like the one of a daughter sitting on her father바카라 사이트檚 lap, saying 바카라 사이트楧addy, what did YOU do in the Great War?바카라 사이트� suggested that 바카라 사이트榬eal men바카라 사이트� were those who fought for their families, for king and country 바카라 사이트� and that those who did not should question their own self-worth. Those who didn바카라 사이트檛 sign up were presented with white feathers by women 바카라 사이트� a mark of cowardice, and a clear sign of disapproval: if you didn바카라 사이트檛 go to war, you weren바카라 사이트檛 a real man.
So men signed up to do their duty, to serve God, King and Country. There was little questioning of authority. Men were not encouraged to think for themselves 바카라 사이트� because imagine what that would have meant for orders to go up and over the front? They were to obey without question.
There was also a sense of fatalism. As one soldier quoted in The Scale of the War put it: 바카라 사이트淭his life suits me. It is a man바카라 사이트檚 life. I wonder if I shall바카라 사이트� leave my bones in Europe, but I am in God바카라 사이트檚 hands, and no death can be better바카라 사이트�.
Bravery and a stiff upper lip were paramount. Death was thought better than cowardice or dishonour. As Henare Wepiha Te Wainohu put it - 바카라 사이트淧ai ake to tatou hinga i te rongo kino ki te ahu whakamuri ki te wa kainga/It would be better for us all to die.. than for a whisper of dishonour to go back home바카라 사이트�.
And war was a time of extremes. There was horror, of course. Death, suffering, loss, fear, homesickness, dreaming of an ordinary life. Siegfried Sassoon바카라 사이트檚 poem - Dreamers, captures it powerfully:
Soldiers are citizens of death바카라 사이트檚 grey land, Drawing no dividend from time바카라 사이트檚 to-morrows.
In the great hour of destiny, they stand, Each with his feuds, and jealousies, and sorrows.
Soldiers are sworn to action; they must win
Some flaming, fatal climax with their lives. Soldiers are dreamers; when the guns begin They think of firelit homes, clean beds and wives.I see them in foul dug-outs, gnawed by rats, And in the ruined trenches, lashed with rain,
Dreaming of things they did with balls and bats, And mocked by hopeless longing to regain
Bank-holidays, and picture shows, and spats, And going to the office in the train.
But amidst all the horror, all the longing for home, there was also adventure, adrenaline, camaraderie, team-work, structure and discipline, friendship, a sense of purpose, and a sense of belonging.
Young men were tested in the extreme, they suffered in the extreme: but they also belonged, they knew their role in life.
And when they came home, a whole new struggle began: finding their place in peace-time, finding a sense of belonging. Trying to deal with the trauma of war without the support in place to help them. Trying to rebuild lives with wives and family after so long apart, and having lived in a world of violence.
And now
So let바카라 사이트檚 talk about now, and the differences between then and now.
The first thing to say is how lucky we are 바카라 사이트� in New Zealand, and in the UK 바카라 사이트� that war is no longer a fact of life. That you young men don바카라 사이트檛 live with the high possibility of being recruited into the war effort. That mothers like me won바카라 사이트檛 have to send their children off to fight. That peace is the norm.
The second difference is how much more freedom there is now: to think for yourself, to question and challenge authority. To kick against traditional conventions of class or gender roles. To choose your own path and career, to be true to your own sexuality and gender. To be who you want to be 바카라 사이트� rather than who society expects you to be.
We have gained so much. Take gender roles 바카라 사이트� an issue close to my heart. Women have fought determinedly for women바카라 사이트檚 liberation, to be able to work in the public sphere, to be treated equally with men, to have choice. And in many ways women바카라 사이트檚 liberation is and should be men바카라 사이트檚 liberation. Men of your grandfathers바카라 사이트� age would have had to be strong, be the sole financial provider and would have had little space or ability to cook, or care for children. Now men have a greater range of choice as women do: they can be more involved in the lives of their kids, they can take on roles in the 바카라 사이트榗aring바카라 사이트� professions like nursing that used to be thought of as women바카라 사이트檚 jobs. They can choose their own path.
But with greater freedom, greater choice, and greater self-determination, comes more complexity. And as the old certainties go, of societal expectations and structure, traditional gender roles, what makes a real man? I think it can be quite hard to chart your way.
And the statistics support that. Statistically, young men in New Zealand have it tough. NZ has the second highest rate of bullying for 15 year olds in OECD countries. Mental health is a huge issue, with New Zealand바카라 사이트檚 youth suicide rate being the highest in the OECD, and particularly acute amongst young men. And the highest rates of deaths in traffic accidents is of young men.
So the problems are there. But even though we바카라 사이트檝e come a long way in terms of breaking down gender norms, we are still living with the legacy of the times when men were hunter-gatherers, warriors, soldiers. And men are still somehow expected to be strong and brave, to 바카라 사이트榤an up바카라 사이트�, or be 바카라 사이트榖allsy바카라 사이트�. And the 바카라 사이트楴o. 8 wire / she바카라 사이트檒l be right바카라 사이트� mentality is still very much present, as is the rugby-playing model of strong masculinity.
It can feel like there isn바카라 사이트檛 much space for other sorts of masculinity, or for vulnerability.
But we바카라 사이트檙e not training warriors any more. Unless something terrible happens and the world changes really dramatically, you are not going to be conscripted. You don바카라 사이트檛 have to be strong, or brave, or have a stiff upper lip. Nor do I. You can if you want! But it바카라 사이트檚 also okay to be different. It바카라 사이트檚 okay not to like rugby, just as it바카라 사이트檚 okay to love it. It바카라 사이트檚 okay not to be okay 바카라 사이트� and it바카라 사이트檚 okay to ask for help.
Take my son. He바카라 사이트檚 what my mother calls 바카라 사이트渂uilt close to the water바카라 사이트� 바카라 사이트� he cries at anything and everything. He is also one of the most empathetic people I know. In the old days we would have had to 바카라 사이트榯oughen him up바카라 사이트�, 바카라 사이트榤ake a real man out of him바카라 사이트� 바카라 사이트� but now we just accept him as he is, and are glad for who he is.
And while being kind, compassionate, caring, emotionally intelligent, loving and vulnerable is still sometimes seen as the domain of women, it absolutely isn바카라 사이트檛. Or at least it shouldn바카라 사이트檛 be. Those are the traits of people 바카라 사이트� of whatever gender 바카라 사이트� who succeed socially. Who are good parents and partners, good friends, good colleagues and managers, and good leaders. Look at Jacinda Ardern, and how she leads with vulnerability and emotion. Those are not the traits of female leadership. They are the traits of successful leadership. Using the whole span of emotional intelligence is how you engage people, build a connection, take them with you, get things done.
So, while I hesitate as a 40 year old woman to give advice to young men like you, I바카라 사이트檓 going to give it a go anyway. And I would say three things:
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be comfortable in your own skin, be yourself, and don바카라 사이트檛 try to fit a mould or meet others바카라 사이트� expectations of what you should be
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be a feminist: because the work is not yet done. Reflect on what it means to be a feminist, and how that should guide your behaviour. Respect women - not just because it바카라 사이트檚 the right thing to do (which of course it is), but because you will not succeed in life if you don바카라 사이트檛
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and finally: love 바카라 사이트� in every sense of the word. Build friendship and understanding. Listen, learn, be empathetic. Support those around you, particularly those who are less fortunate, and do what you can to build a better world
And let us today all be thankful, and remember those who fought and died for our freedom, and be grateful that we now live in a world where we can be ourselves with all the complexity and vulnerability that that brings.
We will remember them.
Ka maumahara tonu t膩tou ki a r膩tou. T膿na koutou, t膿na koutou katoa.